Tag Archives: fart

don’t judge me

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11:03:58 AM Enrique: o fuck i just farted hella nasty
11:04:05 AM Enrique: and some teaRadNerd chick came running into the room
11:04:10 AM Enrique: to check the status of the install im doing
11:04:12 AM Enrique: and just right in it
11:04:13 AM Enrique: holy shit
11:04:30 AM Enrique: im suprised she didn’t vomit
11:05:41 AM Me: You are a bad person
11:05:46 AM Enrique: man its like
11:05:49 AM Enrique: im in here all alone
11:05:53 AM Enrique: then there is someone next to me
11:06:00 AM Enrique: like… just shout for a status
11:06:04 AM Enrique: you dont have to come to my area
11:07:21 AM Me: it’s her fault.
11:07:24 AM Me: she did it to herself.
11:07:31 AM Enrique: no, i know
11:07:34 AM Enrique: you see what im saying?
11:07:37 AM Enrique: im not a bad person
11:07:39 AM Enrique: im just gassy
11:07:41 AM Enrique: fuck
11:09:59 AM Me: LOL dude i was joking
11:10:01 AM Me: you are a good person

if you walk behind the elderly… you’re gonna have a bad time.

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3:00:27 PM MissBigPurple: dude.
3:00:34 PM MissBigPurple: i had a bad experience in safeway today
3:00:39 PM MissBigPurple: i dont even want to talk about it
3:00:39 PM MissBigPurple: lol
3:00:43 PM MissBigPurple: so fucking gross
3:01:00 PM MissBigPurple: but im gonna tell you anyway
3:01:32 PM MissBigPurple: i walked into an old lady’s fart cloud. totally unsuspecting. and it hit my face and i almost puked.
3:01:51 PM MissBigPurple: shit got real. quickly
3:01:55 PM MissBigPurple: and i had to bust ass and leave

max trolling!

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1:55:08 PM Enrique: dude
1:55:38 PM Enrique: this down kid
1:55:39 PM Enrique: comes in
1:55:55 PM Enrique: sits by my desk
1:56:02 PM Enrique: goes… it smells good in here
1:56:07 PM Enrique: i sniff
1:56:10 PM Enrique: this kid farted
1:56:38 PM Me: LOL!
1:56:45 PM Enrique: then he is cracking the fuck up
1:56:47 PM Me: u just got trolled
1:56:49 PM Me: so hard
1:56:49 PM Enrique: and goes
1:56:53 PM Enrique: im keeping you warm
1:56:58 PM Enrique: down kid
1:57:00 PM Me: oh shit!
1:57:01 PM Enrique: trolling me
1:57:12 PM Me: problem bro!?
1:59:03 PM Enrique: wow
1:59:07 PM Enrique: it was just
1:59:08 PM Enrique: i dunno

got 99 problems… yeah.

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9:26:04 AM Enrique: first world problem
9:26:26 AM Enrique: got device that stores coffee at hot temp for 4 hours
9:26:45 AM Enrique: coffee is too hot to drink for 4 ours
9:28:26 AM Me: LOL
9:28:51 AM Enrique: also i just leaned forward to fart and i almost shit my pants
9:29:14 AM Me: LOLOL
9:29:18 AM Me: loling @ work
9:29:20 AM Me: about ur shitty ass
9:29:24 AM Enrique: welcome back!
9:29:30 AM Enrique: yea i need to poop now
9:29:30 AM Enrique: brb
9:29:42 AM Me: clean urself up

beef stew

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2:05:33 PM Enrique: omfg on a side note
2:05:51 PM Enrique: my coworker just left and i may have just shit my pants cuz i farted so much
2:05:56 PM Me: LOL
2:05:59 PM Me: That’s SO sick
2:06:00 PM Enrique: i was holding that in for like 15min
2:06:07 PM Enrique: damn it felt great
2:06:11 PM Enrique: it smells AWEFUL
2:06:39 PM Enrique: but anyways
2:06:43 PM Enrique: what have you guys been doing?
….

2:13:14 PM Enrique: jesus fucking christ.  never ever get the beef stew from whole foods
2:13:19 PM Enrique: mother of god this is nasty
2:14:51 PM Me: that’s basically dog food
2:15:05 PM Enrique: i dunno if thats a good or bad thing
2:15:16 PM Enrique: rustys shits look nice to take
2:15:20 PM Enrique: wish i took those all the time

danger!

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12:55:56 AM Me: what happened
12:56:20 AM Teef: I barfed so hard that I farted. but it was like a trumpet
12:56:26 AM Teef: and it scared me
12:56:30 AM Teef: and scott WOKE UP
12:56:31 AM Me: LOL
12:56:33 AM Me: LOl!!!
12:56:37 AM Teef: and was like WTF was THAT?!
12:56:50 AM Teef: and I was barfing and crying from LAUGHING
12:56:58 AM Me: DAMN
12:57:00 AM Me: u are Messed up
12:57:02 AM Me: u could die like that
12:57:06 AM Me: that’s too much exit
12:57:09 AM Teef: lol!