12:25:08 AM Enrique: dude i have this like…. huge thumb toe nail
12:25:16 AM Enrique: im gonna scratch Pineapple with my talon when she rolls in
Category Archives: Uncategorized
i don’t even have words
3:24:20 PM TwentyTwo: i returned to my desk to see this IM from Carlos
3:24:23 PM TwentyTwo:
[13:26:25 PM] Carlos: poppin
[13:26:28 PM] Carlos: foolio
[14:28:05 PM] Carlos: sometimes, when everybody is asleep, I cover myself in Vaseline and pretend I’m a slug
3:24:37 PM Me: LOL
3:24:39 PM Me: What the FUCK
3:24:44 PM TwentyTwo: yes
3:24:46 PM TwentyTwo: lmfao
3:25:01 PM Me: That’s so fucked up
3:25:02 PM Me: lolol
3:25:12 PM TwentyTwo: when everybody is asleep too
3:25:15 PM TwentyTwo: LoL
murphy’s law
gettin’ paid
2:57:50 PM TwentyTwo: i drop at work all the time
2:57:54 PM TwentyTwo: i love to get paid to take a shit
2:58:00 PM Me: dude
2:58:09 PM TwentyTwo: i calculate the time i’m in there and see how much they pay for me to shit
2:58:10 PM Me: u don’t work with the big indian guy we do… we nick named him “The Duke”
2:58:14 PM Me: LOL!!
2:58:19 PM TwentyTwo: hahaha
2:58:23 PM TwentyTwo: the duke
2:58:28 PM TwentyTwo: curry deuces
smooshy.
3:22:16 PM Me:
“Inspiration is Perishable. We all have ideas. Ideas are immortal. They last forever. What doesn’t last forever is inspiration. Inspiration is like fresh fruit or milk: It has an expiration date. If you want to do something, you’ve got to do it now. You can’t put it on a shelf and wait two months to get around to it. You can’t just say you’ll do it later. Later, you won’t be pumped up about it anymore. If you’re inspired on a Friday, swear off the wekend and dive into the project. When you’re high on inspiration, you can get two weeks of work done in twenty four hours. Inspiration is a time machine in that way. Inspiration is a magical thing, a productivity multiplier, a motivator. But it won’t wait for you. Inspiration is a now thing. If it grabs you, grab it right back and put it to work.”
Anyway, good luck!
-Josh
3:22:38 PM Me: pretty awesome
3:22:47 PM Me: when were you spitting?!
3:23:21 PM Croissant: wait
3:23:25 PM Croissant: i need some more context
3:23:29 PM Croissant: who is josh
3:23:33 PM Croissant: and why did he send you that
3:23:37 PM Croissant: and what does he smoke
3:23:55 PM Croissant: it is very true
3:24:02 PM Croissant: inspiration is like a banana
3:24:14 PM Croissant: you better cut that shit up and put it on some coffee flavored ice cream
3:24:21 PM Croissant: before it turns brown and smooshy
chickity china the chinese chicken
a shitty situation
1:26:47 PM Jill: omg
1:26:48 PM Jill: omg
1:26:49 PM Jill: omfg
1:26:55 PM Jill: the worst thing ever just happened to me
1:26:58 PM Jill: i was in the bathroom
1:27:00 PM Me: LOL
1:27:02 PM Me: this is going to be good
1:27:04 PM Me: yes
1:27:04 PM Jill: no
1:27:09 PM Jill: i was in the bathroom
1:27:11 PM Jill: just peeing
1:27:12 PM Jill: THANK GOD
1:27:17 PM Jill: flushed the toilet
1:27:23 PM Jill: with my foot mind you – so i was completely standing up
1:27:32 PM Jill: the toilet SPRAYED WATER IN MY FACE
1:27:34 PM Jill: like from the bowl
1:27:38 PM Jill: toilet water in my face
1:27:46 PM Jill: i washed my face in the sink with hand soap
1:27:48 PM Jill: came to lab
1:27:51 PM Jill: asked for purell
1:27:54 PM Jill: no one has any
1:28:02 PM Me: LOL!!!
1:28:03 PM Jill: so they got alcohol wipes out of the first aid kit
1:28:12 PM Jill: i used that all over my face
1:28:15 PM Jill: and sunglasses
1:28:16 PM Jill: then realized
1:28:22 PM Jill: i stink of alcohol
1:28:27 PM Jill: so then washed my face again
1:28:48 PM Jill: and am now back in my office trying to forget the horror that just occurred
1:29:50 PM Me: so pretty much, you most likely have someone else’s feces on your face?
1:29:58 PM Me: or maybe just a particle like lodged in a pore
1:30:04 PM Me: that is HEAVY STUFF
1:31:27 PM Jill: omg
1:31:30 PM Jill: please dont say that
1:31:48 PM Jill: i’m going with “the toilet was cleaned this morning and Continue reading a shitty situation
balanced meal
i are a cook!
11:46:27 AM Me: u interested in a knife skills class?
11:46:31 AM Me: cooking and shit
11:47:02 AM Enrique: knife skills?
11:47:05 AM Enrique: not hardly
11:47:08 AM Enrique: maybe cooking though
11:47:08 AM Enrique: lol
11:47:13 AM Enrique: i wanna learn how to cook!
11:47:21 AM Enrique: plus
11:47:23 AM Enrique: wtf man
11:47:25 AM Enrique: knife skills?
11:47:31 AM Enrique: where do you come up with this shit?
11:47:31 AM Me: shit is essential
11:47:38 AM Enrique: lol
11:47:51 AM Me: dude knife skill is like a super basic technique
11:47:59 AM Me: if u wanna cook shit
11:48:05 AM Me: and have it come out evenly cooked
….
11:48:32 AM Enrique: sounds so serious
…
11:49:19 AM Enrique: i just bought a slapchop the other day
11:49:21 AM Enrique: shit is legit
crackheadism
1:59:07 PM Jill: dude
1:59:10 PM Me: LOL
1:59:15 PM Jill: i just went to throw away my sando bag
1:59:19 PM Jill: when i looked inside
1:59:21 PM Jill: and found
1:59:25 PM Jill: a caramel apple pop!
1:59:28 PM Jill: fucking free
1:59:31 PM Jill: hell yeah
2:01:31 PM Me: LOL
2:01:33 PM Me: that’s hilarious
2:01:38 PM Me: i mean with ur dental history…
2:01:45 PM Me: that’s like a crack head stumbling upon a free Rock
2:07:37 PM Jill: LOL!!!!
2:07:42 PM Jill: i can’t stop laughing
2:07:47 PM Jill: because i just put in my mouth
2:07:51 PM Jill: (twss)
2:07:54 PM Me: LOL
2:08:01 PM Jill: and thought (i’m not supposed to eat sticky things rightnow)
2:08:07 PM Me: thats what she said too!
2:08:08 PM Me: Ohjhh
2:10:51 PM Jill: lol!!!!!!!!!
2:21:40 PM Jill: dude
2:21:45 PM Jill: it is like a crack rock
2:21:49 PM Jill: i konw i shouldn’t have it
2:21:51 PM Jill: yet i do
2:21:58 PM Jill: and i’m leaving to go to the DENTIST in 10 min
2:21:59 PM Jill: LOL
2:23:02 PM Me: LOL
2:23:06 PM Me: What!!~
2:23:11 PM Me: that’s like showing up to AA drunk!!
2:23:12 PM Me: dude
2:23:13 PM Me: LOL
2:23:15 PM Me: u have a problem
2:26:20 PM Jill: lol hey its not like i bought it
2:26:23 PM Jill: shit was given to me
2:26:28 PM Jill: god now m lips are sticky
2:26:34 PM Me: LOL
2:26:36 PM Jill: the dentist is going to know
2:26:42 PM Jill: i’m already hanging my head in shame
2:26:48 PM Jill: i need to keep a toothbrush at work
2:27:00 PM Me: He’s gonna be like… Did u floss? and u can say, NO, i ate a caramel apple lolli