All posts by enrique

max trolling!

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1:55:08 PM Enrique: dude
1:55:38 PM Enrique: this down kid
1:55:39 PM Enrique: comes in
1:55:55 PM Enrique: sits by my desk
1:56:02 PM Enrique: goes… it smells good in here
1:56:07 PM Enrique: i sniff
1:56:10 PM Enrique: this kid farted
1:56:38 PM Me: LOL!
1:56:45 PM Enrique: then he is cracking the fuck up
1:56:47 PM Me: u just got trolled
1:56:49 PM Me: so hard
1:56:49 PM Enrique: and goes
1:56:53 PM Enrique: im keeping you warm
1:56:58 PM Enrique: down kid
1:57:00 PM Me: oh shit!
1:57:01 PM Enrique: trolling me
1:57:12 PM Me: problem bro!?
1:59:03 PM Enrique: wow
1:59:07 PM Enrique: it was just
1:59:08 PM Enrique: i dunno

got 99 problems… yeah.

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9:26:04 AM Enrique: first world problem
9:26:26 AM Enrique: got device that stores coffee at hot temp for 4 hours
9:26:45 AM Enrique: coffee is too hot to drink for 4 ours
9:28:26 AM Me: LOL
9:28:51 AM Enrique: also i just leaned forward to fart and i almost shit my pants
9:29:14 AM Me: LOLOL
9:29:18 AM Me: loling @ work
9:29:20 AM Me: about ur shitty ass
9:29:24 AM Enrique: welcome back!
9:29:30 AM Enrique: yea i need to poop now
9:29:30 AM Enrique: brb
9:29:42 AM Me: clean urself up

i are a cook!

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11:46:27 AM Me: u interested in a knife skills class?
11:46:31 AM Me: cooking and shit
11:47:02 AM Enrique: knife skills?
11:47:05 AM Enrique: not hardly
11:47:08 AM Enrique: maybe cooking though
11:47:08 AM Enrique: lol
11:47:13 AM Enrique: i wanna learn how to cook!
11:47:21 AM Enrique: plus
11:47:23 AM Enrique: wtf man
11:47:25 AM Enrique: knife skills?
11:47:31 AM Enrique: where do you come up with this shit?
11:47:31 AM Me: shit is essential
11:47:38 AM Enrique: lol
11:47:51 AM Me: dude knife skill is like a super basic technique
11:47:59 AM Me: if u wanna cook shit
11:48:05 AM Me: and have it come out evenly cooked
….
11:48:32 AM Enrique: sounds so serious
…
11:49:19 AM Enrique: i just bought a slapchop the other day
11:49:21 AM Enrique: shit is legit

beef stew

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2:05:33 PM Enrique: omfg on a side note
2:05:51 PM Enrique: my coworker just left and i may have just shit my pants cuz i farted so much
2:05:56 PM Me: LOL
2:05:59 PM Me: That’s SO sick
2:06:00 PM Enrique: i was holding that in for like 15min
2:06:07 PM Enrique: damn it felt great
2:06:11 PM Enrique: it smells AWEFUL
2:06:39 PM Enrique: but anyways
2:06:43 PM Enrique: what have you guys been doing?
….

2:13:14 PM Enrique: jesus fucking christ.  never ever get the beef stew from whole foods
2:13:19 PM Enrique: mother of god this is nasty
2:14:51 PM Me: that’s basically dog food
2:15:05 PM Enrique: i dunno if thats a good or bad thing
2:15:16 PM Enrique: rustys shits look nice to take
2:15:20 PM Enrique: wish i took those all the time

hot steamy apple news

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11:07:36 AM Enrique: apple unveils new operating system
11:07:44 AM Enrique: investors everywhere shit their pants
11:08:04 AM Enrique: all daytraders invest in depends for apple entusiasts
11:08:18 AM Me: LOL
11:08:22 AM Me: shit’s hilarious
11:08:32 AM Enrique: no… shits not hilarious
11:08:35 AM Enrique: i mean that is…
11:08:36 AM Enrique: but damn
11:08:44 AM Enrique: i took a lightning dumb this morning
11:09:01 AM Enrique: and i got like… heavy heavy resonation througout the bowl
11:09:07 AM Enrique: luckly nothing on my ass directlyu
11:09:18 AM Enrique: but i did some seroius damage
11:09:25 AM Enrique: and like… flushing wasn’t fixing it
11:09:29 AM Enrique: so i basically had to leave it as is
11:09:47 AM Me: wtf
11:09:51 AM Me: how did we change gears here
11:09:52 AM Me: lol
11:10:03 AM Enrique: you said shits hilarious
11:10:06 AM Enrique: i said shits not hilarious
11:10:08 AM Enrique: its serious